Happy Sunday everyone. This week has been a difficult one for me and it’s got me thinking that it’s time for some much-needed R & R. The year started out on a bad note with a death in the family and the end of my long- term relationship. For those of you who may not be aware, I am also dealing with my mother who is suffering from dementia and she is being taken care of by my oldest brother who is disabled.
For the past few months now my family and I have banded together to make sure that everything is well taken care of after my father’s passing. The house, the finances, etc. My son and I do not live at the family home because it is not large enough to accommodate all of us and have everyone living comfortably. We live in an apartment only a few miles away from the house and are able to provide help whenever needed.
I have found myself being forced to do things that I never thought I would have to do for my mother and brother. I clean up after them, I dress my mother, I have even had to help her bathe. I have become the power of attorney over my mother’s finances and have taken control of my mother’s car since she is unable to drive in her mental state. At the same time, I work a full-time job working nine hours a day, five days a week and handling my own responsibilities. And in addition to still mourning my father’s death, it’s been rough. I am also still trying to cope with losing my ex-boyfriend. Do I miss them? Hell yes… But I have to keep moving forward. That’s what they would want and that’s what I want too.
I’ve been trying to write a new novel and it hasn’t gone very well. Perhaps it was too soon for me to start writing again with all of this going on in my life, but at the same time, it has helped me to not lose my mind. I have not started drinking and I have never done drugs or physically harmed anyone. My mind and heart is strong and still well intact. My soul has been shaken a bit but not stirred enough to make me lose my faith in God or myself. I still believe in life after death and true love in this life. Glory be to God. My dad raised me to be tough, and even though I may sound and look like a child, I am so far from it.
But I am only human, and a human has to have time to rest. So, after months of trying to get everything with my family back in high gear and planning to hire a professional caregiver for my mother this week; I have decided to finally take some time off from work. Vacations are a luxury that doesn’t come very often. But when they do, we should embrace it and take it for all it’s worth. I won’t be leaving Chicago this year even though I could afford to, but I plan to stay in town and just get some much-needed rest and relaxation. I only have three paid vacation days left because two of them were used after my father’s death. But coupled with the weekend, I think I can make this work. I am thinking it’ll happen sometime next month, and I will probably not post a blog during that week. I am taking a break from everything. Except for my family.
They are the only ones who get to have me no matter what…