Writing Sex Scenes

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Hey everyone and Happy Weekend! I hope everyone enjoyed the Fourth of July last week and had the chance to enjoy some time off from work. I know I did. There’s probably a few of you out there that have wondered why my first novel was a romance novel and why the last two were completely different genres. Well, I will explain. At the time that I wrote the first novel, “A Woman of Courage,” I was at a point in my life when I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I was also very naïve when it came to romance and sex. I was in my early forties and still optimistic about men and love. Things have changed since then and so have I.

The sex scenes that I wrote were kind of sketchy because I was still inexperienced as a novelist and didn’t really know what the hell I was doing. I used to read a lot of romance novels in the past, so I just tried to kind of emulate the styles of other romance writers. I did a poor job, to say the least. Although I was not inexperienced as a lover, I found it difficult to write about the mechanics of sex and make it sound well…juicy. It felt awkward and unrealistic. In other words, it just isn’t for me. I blush just looking at a sex scene in a motion picture. I guess I’m kind of old fashioned that way. I never believed sex was something you share with the whole damn world. It is an intimate act between two people who should be in love but often times aren’t. So, I gave it up.

The romance genre is great if you know how to write it, but I have to admit; it’s hard. Oh sure, I know enough about relationships to counsel you on the subject but when it comes to writing about it, like the way a person’s body feels when it’s touched by someone else or the sounds a person makes while engaged in the act is not easy to put into words when you are trying to get the readers excited. I feel that nowadays people seem to become bored with sex scenes unless it’s graphically told. In other words, XXX. I definitely have to draw the line there. I feel that it’s called a romance novel because it’s about a couple falling in love not just trying to jump each other’s bones. I’m not going to write porn. Romance novels and erotic novels are quite different. Whereas a romance novel will merely describe a person’s genitalia, an erotic novel will use the street terms and get as dirty as possible in order to not titillate an audience but literally make one want to do it…right away.

I’m not in the business of making my readers hot lol. I want to make my readers think. We don’t do enough of that anymore. That doesn’t mean I will never have my characters have sex. It’s a part of life but I will no longer go into great detail about the sex act. That doesn’t excite me as the author. Funny, I noticed that my romance novel received more reviews than my other two novels and I suspect it’s because women love reading about sex and relationships. A Woman of Courage sold more copies than both The Blood Oath and Evil Has No Color but I’m okay with that. I still have no plans in the future to write another romance novel lol. However, I do plan to put love into most of my books. Love drives many people to do some very crazy things. That alone can bring forth a lot of great story ideas in the future.

Until next time…

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