How I’m Doing

Hey there readers and writers, hope it’s been a good week for you all. It’s a new month and winter is almost over. Thank God. I was ready for Spring as soon as Winter arrived. My post today will not be very long. But I just wanted to give you some insight on how I am doing since the painful death of my dad and the loss of my relationship with my ex-boyfriend. This year started out a complete nightmare for me and I have fought hard to get to today. I believe there’s a fighter in me somewhere because I just can’t seem to give up. On anything…

I have my good days when I am able to laugh with the guys at work or enjoy a moment of peace at home. And I have my bad days when all I feel like doing is screaming. I’m not going to lie to you. There have been days when it took every ounce of mental energy to get out of bed in the mornings to go to work and make my living. I had no bereavement time because my job doesn’t offer it. I had to just face everything head-on, even watching other people being happy when all I felt like doing was dying. It’s a daily struggle that I have learned to live with. Because I have no choice.

I once heard the saying, life is pain…and you can get used to it. I believe I have. In fact, I wear that pain on my back every single day as a reminder. That no matter what I go through in life, or how many times I laugh, there will always come a time when I will have to cry. But I always have to have the strength to stop crying and start living. I refuse to just allow the pain to take me out. I can’t. Because there are people who are counting on me. Sometimes you have to just Woman Up! And accept life as it is. Whether it’s really good, or it’s horrifying. You have to keep on pushing forward and don’t let anything stand in your way.

When you lose someone, you love more than anything, you feel like your whole universe is destroyed. All of a sudden, you feel alone, and you have to learn how to live without them. It’s not easy. Every person on this earth has experienced losing someone they loved at least once in their lives. And if they haven’t yet…they will. It never gets easy. But you have to just deal with it the best way you can and remember that losing is a part of life. Death is a part of life, and life is a part of life. Whether you’re sharing it with someone or walking it alone. But you always have a choice to walk it alone or not. God has never ever left me alone too long. He’s always aware of what I’m doing and what I’m going through. What I can take…and what I can’t. Luckily, he created me strong. And he also gave me the ability to love unconditionally. No matter what the situation is. He also gave me the ability to forgive no matter what harm has been done to me. We all have that same ability but it’s up to you if you want to start using it.  Stay strong.

Until next time…


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Andrew Bryan Carson says:

    Hello Eshelle. I’m so proud of you that you are going for and achieving your dream of being a writer. You deserve all the success. I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your dad. I really liked him a lot as well as your wonderful mom and am so honored to have had the opportunity to meet him and your mom. I know he was and is so proud of you. Eshelle, I want you to know I’m praying for you and your family, that God comforts, strengthens and heals your heart during this time. Sadly, I lost my dad three years ago. I know this pain all too well. I miss dad so much and think about him every day – many times a day. Dad was my best friend, my teacher and greatest hero. The experience of his passing profoundly changed my life in so many ways. The best way is that it has connected me much more to our Heavenly Father. Our Lord is with you, Eshelle and loves you so dearly. He will never let you go from His Hand. I pray that you hold our Lord’s words in Matthew 5:4 close to your heart. May God bless and keep you and hold you in the shelter of His Love.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. eshelle23 says:

      Thank you, Andrew. I remember you and your wonderful dad. I’m so sorry about his passing. I loved him like a father. Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it so much. God bless.


Leave a Reply to Andrew Bryan Carson Cancel reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.