You have only read two of my books so far. The first one was not that dark but the second one and the unpublished ones I’ve worked on preceding that one is very dark. That seems to be the path I’ve taken lately where my writing is concerned. I want to say I don’t know why, but deep down I really do know. I am not a dark person but my thoughts often are and they mainly stem from either depression and that I suffer from Day-mares or both.
Let’s talk about my dissatisfaction with life and the world first. Ever since I was in high school I have become increasingly disappointed in the way the world has turned out. The terrorism, the violence in the streets, the failing economy and the way we bring up our children. I refuse to sugar coat anything when I say that it’s all been crap. Just look at the way the world is now. It’s worse than ever before with the mass shootings, women getting sexually assaulted as if that’s what we were created for and its man’s right on this earth. The break- down of the family structure. Everybody’s family is kind of messed up in some way. There is no Brady Bunch type family. In the real-world, the structure is fueled by negligence, a lack of communication and a lack of desire to want to change. We are all so caught up in our daily problems and what’s on the internet that we forget what’s important sometimes. Family. I suffer from depression because of this as do many people. My depression often sends my mind to a dark place but never to a point where I feel like hurting myself or anyone else.
For those of you who are not familiar with Day mares, it is a frightening or oppressive trance or hallucinatory condition experienced while awake. I have had this for most of my adult life and I’ve never really talked about it before but maybe by doing so, I can help others who may be experiencing the same thing. Let me first tell you that if you are experiencing this, you are not crazy and you are not mentally ill. This article can explain it far better than I can.
For a long time, I thought maybe I was crazy because of this but after doing research. It all began to make sense. I suppose my stories do come from the day mares as well because fear drives my day mares. Fear of losing a loved one or experiencing a disaster. Fear of death. But the stories I write face my fears head on and it is my way of fighting my demons and letting them know that I am not going to let them ruin my life or control me. Writing is great therapy and has helped slow down the condition.
I do not take medication to control this condition and I am not even sure if there is any because I have never considered that. I do not take medication for depression either. I prefer to just deal with it in the most natural way possible. I am not a huge fan of medication because I see what it does to my relatives who must take multiple types of meds every day. The side effects are just too dangerous and I’d rather not become a slave to medication if I can help it.
Throughout the years I have been heavily influenced by horror films and books and even the ones that scares me so much that I can’t face it, have influenced me to delve deeper and face my fears. For many years I have allowed fear to hold me back. But in recent years I have tried to turn this around and use them to my advantage. So far it works. The things I tend to write about are the things we don’t like to talk about. The things that make us have nightmares, the things that make us want to die. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and I try to portray that as well. My protagonist must always beat the odds and must always fight the demons that are trying to destroy them, even if the demons are themselves.